Eleanor,
Let me begin by burying the lede. Thank you for this ultimate prosperity. By your grace, I was able to get my sea legs back as a person and prove to myself that I am fit to work within this industry. Sober and dependable.
I didn’t have anything to show for but desperation when I came to you. This is by far the longest job I’ve ever had the privilege of quitting. While I know you are in a business of grace, this offense is too great to continue. The family is broken apart, I’m aware. Short, painful recollections are preceded by a sweeping landscape of growth.
Through the infinite spread of coupled years engaged under your employment, I have changed for the better. No matter what my image presents in your mind’s eye, reading these words. Please don’t hold my tone as one who defends themselves. I am guilty. I have treasoned.
But I am no betrayer! Our family goes on and on about our truth. And our work. What if our work contradicts truthful pursuit? Do not kid yourself into subtle, subconscious dishonesties. Were it you (and haven’t you ever) instead of me — the capital of this family — then does the family still fall apart. I doubt it.
We would follow you still, and with ease. Because you could always hand us Haven. There’s not a discrepancy in the world that could hollow us.
Except for this.
I didn’t believe for a second that this weather would fall upon you. Yet, this damnable thing: if I knew you’d become collateral — I would have followed my missteps again and again. Our protocol is full of positivity. Your grace is unending.
This family needed an end.
So it harms us until we are forced apart. I know it won’t be long. I know I will follow you still. My heart gave its allegiance one couplet ago. My spirit knows it’s committed crimes. Your spirit welcomes all crimes. Now I must stop enacting a deception on myself; your hint is loud.
I pray this will alleviate you in some ways. I take my permanent leave following the work of Thu Dec 21, 2023.
I will carry these memories as I give myself completely to the next thing.
Thank you so much, Eleanor. I will always admire your generosity, your tolerance, and your understanding.
Yours in gratitude,
Lou